For the first time in my life..hm, maybe not the first time, but i just feel like using it for the start of my post..
For the first time in my life, i feel that being fully awake isn't really a nice thing.
However, today was somehow a nice day.
Does it contradict ? Hmm..
Never mind.. let's continue..
It was really a nice day. =x
i didn't feel tired or sleepy at all. After sleeping straight away since yesterday evening around 7pm when i got home, i only woke at 10pm to pack my bag and continued to sleep till this morning at 5.30am.
And for the first time, this time really first time. For the first time....when my alarm went off, i woke up straight away without snoozing.
I woke up and went straight to bathe. I felt super alert. Didn't mistook hair shampoo for facial foam this time. =)) REally nice.
Reached school super early as usual, Yup.. I shall not say the time, you guys might get a shock.
LOL. So everything was really nice and clear. Not sleepy at all.
Decided to start on PP with a fresh and alert mind.
Some things will still be left undone and all even with a fresh mind.
But at least i managed to find the real official website of the company. Quite a nice thing considering all the work would be cut into half with the website as resource.
So the day was quite smooth. Eugene and Songren was available for my excel work today.
Yes, Thanks to MR SONGREN that i've managed to do the excel with absolute no huge problems.
(But seriously, i don't remember what he taught. =\ )
Went for module selection talk at 9.30am. LOL.
Sometimes i feel quite funny.
My class is right beside Songren and Gab's class. But we seldom meet up. (They always avoid walking too near my classroom's door. Because never ask me along for breaks, so don't want walk too near uh. HAHAHA.)
Yup. we seldom meet, even for band pracs, they don't wait for me. SUPER BAD of them.
HAhaha. So for module selection talk, me and my fren entered the lift. and Yup. So coincident-ly(dun mind my inventions.) , yup. i saw so many shuai ge(s) going into the lift too. Damn packed.
SongRen was there, Gab was there. Yup. Coincidence. =)
Ok. nth much.
Just that everything was nice.. blah blah...
2 days in a row, Songren asked me to join them for lunch. (JUST BECAUSE RONALD IS HAVING ATTACHMENT)
OK. i shall close one eye for the reason. well yea.
And because of all his help with the excel and that i've finish the work early, i joined them.
Kirsten, Simon, Gab, Songren and Me.
Nice la. At least i get to know Kirsten more and found out that she have a crappy mind.
She's late, and the first thing she say is.. "I was busy cooking hotdogs."
zz. den she say.. " later i give u the link, cook hotdogs." (but she didn't realize she didn't add me =.=)
but not bad eh. LOL ~
Yup. we had lunch. talked till about 20 mins left before 3rd meeting starts.
Seriously quite nice arh. One of the FIRST time this year that i spend my 2nd break so freely.
Was only back in class like.. 15 mins before the presentation.
My MSN was flooded like mad. 9 windows flashing.. cmi cmi.
3rd meeting ended. Had UT. UT ended.
I happen to open the classroom door and saw songren standing outside. Totally not waiting for me. HAhaha. He's waiting for Gab. Sia la. makes me wonder if i were to open the door later... will they stand outside and wait sia =x
So we met up with the rest minus Naf .
(Naf having attachment at Suntec.. =( for a week. )
Yup. we met up and went for band early.
blah blah blah. Everything was fine.
Even Gloriosa was fine. I thought i played better than usual. I guess it's the "energy". i feel SUPER alive.
Yup. Did play wrong notes and all. but still, i like how i played today.. well, kinda.
At least it was pleasant. =)) been so long since i've left the band room smiling in my heart. So long.. those were the times before Irish Tune from County Derry.
Laa. But Irish tune from County Derry was really an experience. An experience that left me sighing after every band prac. Laa. But it was nice. somehow. =) i've learnt alot.
Ahh. side-tracked.. HAHA. yea. i know i've side tracked all way long. BLAH.
so so.. it was nice. I even packed my flute so fast that when i turn and look at Zoe.. She's still packing. =x
When returning our flutes to the cupboard.. I accidentally erm..
i don't know how to describe.. erm.. scratch seems too light.. twist is not the right word too.
ERm. I just anyhow-ly got my right hand injured. It was a BIG RED PATCH at the start of my right index finger's knuckles until the wrist area.
REALLY PAINFUL. but i guess it will go off by the time i reach home. (and it happened to turn into a small swell when i reach home) So.. yup. had a pleasant walk with Yani to the interchange. (as usual). Erm. Not a walk with Yani la.
It's like.. one big group going to interchange together.. but i'm with Yani? HAaha.
Yup. And Pat was trying to cut in-between us. zz.
Ok. side-note. ( PAT BLOODY-HELLY PULLED JARON AWAY. HE WALKED BESIDE ME AND BECAUSE JASMINE ISN'T THERE, SHE PURPOSELY PULLED HIM AWAY.)
Ok. Never mind. what's the link anyway. LOL.
Yup. We went to Pastamania for Dinner =) erm.. More like Supper.
Talked and Talked and Talked and Talked and Talked and Talked.
Yups. Alot to talk about. Hees. Of Course la. GOT ME LEH. =x
REally hope Gab feels better now. He have had Tummyache since long long ago and had been singing to Praque all the way. (outside people no need understand. inside people understand can already.)
Yup. I was so worried he'll SING into his Tuba. Lol.
Yup yup. So after dinner, we sent him off for Cab.
Really hope he's better. HAHA . WITH MY WORDS OF CONSOLE. I BET HE'S FEELING ALOT BETTER NOW. =))
anyway. and then, kirsten, jaron, pat, zoe and me encoutered a rather sad but interesting "event" that took place at the mrt station.
Till now, we still don't know what happened. so i shall not elaborate. if you want to know.. ask either of us. But i doubt we can ans you what happened.
And yes.. NOW, I've FINALLY COME TO THE MAIN THING.
MAIN REASON. MAIN POINT OF THE POST.
I'm so fully awake that i didn't listen to my mp3. Yes. no link. (actually the reason to why i didn't listen to my mp3 is that.. i can't find my earpiece..)
Ok. So throughout the whole journey.. I did alot of thinking.
So many things done that i've regretted.
I don't understand arh.. Everyday before i sleep, i will go through the day's happening in my head. Sometimes i think i did wrong stuff. Sometimes i think i did the right ones.
It's just.. ME.
well. i don't know.. People does say the wrong things. I say the wrong things. I judge a book by it's cover.
Before even opening the book, i threw it elsewhere.
Before even opening the book, i told the whole world that this book is awful.
Before even opening the book, i complained about the book.
I've always been taught not to judge a book by looking at the book's cover. Taught by my teachers, my peers, my parents, everyone.
I've even told many people that little phrase; " Never judge a book by it's cover "
AND YET, I DID.
I DID . I DID . AND I DID.
And the thing is, i'm now reading the book.
People once told me that everything have a life.
Books have life. They lived as a book. Being read by people, being left on the shelves, being thrown away.
And if the book really have a life, after being so badly by me, i can just feel the HURT.
The rejection, and the sudden acceptance. The stabbing. The throwing away and now.. The picking up. And the enjoyment.
I feel like a jerk, bastard, idiot, most pathetic person in the whole entire world.
How i wish the book will just give me paper cuts and let me bleed till i die.
I can't describe how painful it is to be the book.
SIGH. I think you might be thinking i'm blurting out nonsense and stuff again.
I just don't know how to say out properly to how i feel right now.
I've judged someone without even knowing the person. I've talked bad things. And i've only come to realize that i've misjudged and i felt so painful for being such an idiot.
The thing is, the person knew i've bad-mouthed the person but still remained nice to me.
I think that's the reason i feel so painful.
How will someone ever believe i'm truthful again?
Ah. i don't know la. i Just feel bloody bad.
And the reason for all these is because i'm so fully awake that i've list out all the points whereby i know i've done the wrong things.
Just let me rant and get over it.
the more i say, the more i complain, the more i explain.. the worst i feel.
I'm just straightforward.
I've been trying to be so straightforward for a long time. It's just hard. It's just who i am, saying what i say.
And i've realize it's wrong. Sometimes it's not about who you are only.
DAMN. AH. The more i say, the worst it gets.
Ok. The post started quite warmly and ended quite coldly.